Everyone: WE WON!!!! YIPPPPEEE!!

In collaboration with The Bull Agate Street, the infamous Houghton hill that has traumatized students for decades, is officially coming down. The city council has approved plans to level the street and replace it with a sprawling dorm complex dubbed “Flat Future Housing.” The project, expected to cost $12 million,

Last week, Michigan Tech was officially recognized as a method of torture by the Geneva Convention. This comes as a result of a major campaign by nations, many considered adversaries to the United States. A person familiar with the designation had this to say about why Michigan Tech was added:

In honor of the school’s 140th anniversary, Michigan Tech is reintroducing some majors from its inaugural year. These majors will provide a look back into what the past was like, as well as creating more job opportunities for when a solar flare finally kills the current worldwide communications network. Strikebreaking

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While everyone in the Keweenaw knows about the historical significance of the copper mines in the area and the way they created a large economy for the Upper Peninsula as a whole. You may not know the more modern history of those long-forgotten mines. After the closure and eventual abandonment

Why are you crying? Squigglebert Johnson, Computer Science, 1st year, Rough and Ready, CA. “I haven’t been allowed to shower for thirteen weeks. I’ve tried. Every time I get within 50 feet of my dorm shower, a gang of unwashed upperclassmen dressed in anime hoodies and sweatpants tackle me and