The Lewd
Biannual Satirical Project
Lewd special satirical article: MTU to Introduce Avian Engineering Degree
In collaboration with The Bull In what critics are calling either a bold academic innovation or an elaborate prank, Michigan Tech announced its new Avian Engineering program, set to launch in Fall 2025. The program, which teaches students how to design and maintain “avian-inspired aerial systems”—or, as insiders admit, “robotic
Lewd special satirical article: Fall 2024 Husky Howl
Out of the frustration of finals week, Michigan Tech will be continuing on its semesterly “husky howl” this Saturday. Students wishing to participate should congregate around the Blizzard statue between the Library and the Electrical Engineering Resources Center. Participants will need to assume the sacred semi-circle position. Howling begins promptly
Lewd special satirical article: Student Feature- Life Being Friends With Both Women on MTU Campus
This week, I had the chance to sit down with Jason Sinclair, Michigan Tech’s feminist icon and unofficial ambassador of social inclusivity. Sinclair is the only man that can say he is friends with the entire female population on campus: all two of them. When asked the most important question
Lewd special satirical article: Wads Hampter Wheel Unveiled
Due to frequent power outages in eastern Wadsworth Hall, the Housing Office has been inundated throughout the semester with complaints of blackouts, broken devices, and spooky whispers in the dark. On Monday, December 2, housing staff unveiled a dramatic solution: a giant hamster wheel atop the building’s roof, which will
Lewd special satirical article: RFK Jr announces plan to base American health standards on MTU dining
With Robert F. Kennedy Jr. set to take over as the Department of Health and Human Services secretary, he has announced his controversial plan to “Make America Healthy Again.” The goal of this ambitious plan? The total eradication of flavor from the American diet. “Flavor is the Trojan horse of
Lewd special satirical article: Michigan Tech Announces New “Convenient” Commuter Lot on Top of Mont Ripley
In a bold move to solidify its title as the Most Fucked-Up Parking System in the Midwest, Michigan Tech has announced plans to build a new commuter parking lot on the summit of Mont Ripley. The university, which already boasts a parking experience that doubles as an extreme sport, described
Lewd special satirical article: Michigan Tech’s new aerospace engineers explain how they definitely aren’t going to work in the Military-industrial complex.
Michigan Tech will soon be starting a new Aerospace Engineering program to trick would-be mechanical engineers into working for the military-industrial complex. One of the new students, Amy Stake, explained, “I have always been fascinated by space travel, and I want to work on the cutting edge of technology.” The
Lewd special satirical article: Upcoming Events, December 1st, 2024
Monday, December 2nd 08:00-10:00 | Weekly Group Breakfast (Beverage: Muddy Puddle Water) (Meal: A Mound of Wood Chips) 12:00-15:00 | The Big Race (Students get to race the beaver that they’ve raised throughout fall camp) Tuesday, December 3nd 11:00-14:00 | Arson Workshop
Lewd special satirical article: The Christening of the Bricc Dick
Over the years we have had many names for our largest building. The ME-EM and the MAE building had their time, but now a generous donation has changed the name yet again. President Koubek and the rest of the Michigan Tech administration have announced the partnership that is making this
