Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. Opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode values. Poor exam performance, bad food; may be caused by access gamma levels    A group of health

As our culture melds ever faster into the galactic soup singularity, some of our most recent visitors found themselves out of sorts when they sat down for a diplomatic meal. Fearing interplanetary conflict, officials immediately capitulated when our alien allies demanded access to Earth-grown food. Initially confused as a warlike

At 4:20 pm yesterday afternoon Public Safety received a call from Lossann Foun who reported that a missing person had been spotted just outside the front entrance to Wadsworth Hall. “When I initially got the call I was absolutely bewildered!” exclaimed Hans Cuff, the officer who received the call, “I

The Bee Movie is the bee’s knees. It has everything a film could ever need, from romance and action to comedy and horror. TV networks like BeeNN and ABeeC play this movie every night, much to the beelight of everyone. No other movie protagonists come close in charisma and heroism

Searching for an activity to pass the time when you’re not questioning your existence during finals week? Look no further.   Free Activities Wallow in self-pity Ruminate Practice origami with old copies of The Lewd Walk into the portage Sleep, but don’t sleep Lose all sense of object permanence  Gaslight

Grammarly Premium has been available to Tech students for a while now giving you the tools you need to be a great writer Gramarlalyy Prime allows users too not only catch grammar and spelling mistakes but write more concise effective sentences as well With Gramerwee you’re writing skills are sure

Dear Girlboss, I am concerned that a member of my student organization is not human. She has many strange behaviors. First of all, I always find her hiding food in weird places. I’ve never seen her actually eat food before. She also consumes an excessive amount of water, and keeps

Photo by 5FTFLAME       Dean arrested on snack theft charges  MTU’s Dean was arrested last Thursday on charges of theft in regards to snacks stolen at a recent Undergraduate Student Government (USG) meeting. Among the stolen items were candy, chocolate, and pretzels. Charges are likely to be dropped,