Daytime Routine
- Wash face with Tears of Dean’s Enemies.
- Moisturize with anti-aging serum, because deans don’t age.
- Apply foundation. Maybe it’s Maybelline. Maybe it’s a secret formula developed in the basement of ChemSci.
- Apply concealer. Lots may be needed, as The Dean has lots of secrets. e.g. What is hidden in the Walker Pool?
- Time for setting! Apply powder. No, not that powder. Stop watching so much Euphoria.
- Contour, contour, contour. No one’s nose is quite as snatched as The Dean’s.
- Blush, like you just saw Mrs. The Dean.
- Optional: Apply eyeshadow. Reserve for a special occasion.
- Line those eyes. The Dean only uses Sex Kitten by Tarte.
- Apply mascara. The best deans have long, luxurious lashes.
- The Dean’s a busy dean, so you know this shit’s gotta last. Apply enough setting spray to create a cloud over Houghton. We don’t typically see the sun anyways.
Nighttime Routine
- Wash face with water from the portage. The old copper mining pollutants give skin a youthful glow.
- Remove makeup with Wads toilet paper. Use many pieces, as it is the thinnest paper known to humankind.
- Moisturize with Essence of Skinwalker™. Obtain from MTU administrator. Many of them are not who they say they are.
- Slug, bitch! Apply lots of Vaseline. #HuskiesDoNotAge.
- Kiss Mrs. The Dean and Daughter Dean goodnight.
- Turn off Instagram. Apply sleep mask. You are now voided to the worl
