The Lewd was recently given top-secret information onto the Dean’s weekly schedule. Thanks to an informant insider, we have given you a unique glance as to the Dean’s weekly schedule!
Please note: Times for events are not listed. The Dean is a free spirit who surpasses the mortal theory of time.
Monday
Wish Huskies a great week on Instagram
Eat first bucket of shrimp for the week
Brainstorm new hashtags
Listen to complaints from students about how “there’s nothing to do here”
Attend boring meetings
Hit the gym, get swole
Tuesday
Follow several new Michigan Tech students on Instagram
Meet with administrators, ask them to redistribute more funding to things that improve quality of student life; #HuskyFail
Attend depressing meetings
Hit the gym, get ripped
Wednesday
Welcome students to the Dean’s Club via Instagram DM
Attend USG meeting; commandeer pretzels
Eat second bucket of shrimp
Hit the gym, get jacked
Thursday
Read The Lewd
Consider making a Dean TikTok account
Attend [redacted] meetings
Comment on students’ Instagram posts
Contemplate
Hit the gym, get buff
Friday
Support student orgs on Instagram
Rejoice
Attend fun meetings because everything is fun on Friday (if you’re the dean)
Keg stands with the Greek lifers
Hit the gym, try not to fall off of the elliptical after too many keg stands
Saturday
“Like” Time
Engage in “Yooper” activities, such as: eating a pasty, playing in the snow, sweating in a sauna, driving over potholes, crying
Reject intimate encounter with Mrs. The Dean. #HuskyUP
Hit the gym, get beefed
Sunday
Make waffles
Repent
Rest
Repent
Rest
Instagram time
Prepare for doom of oncoming week
