Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. Opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode values.
Recently uncovered documents from Linn Smith, the architect behind our beloved MEEM building, revealed that the tilt of the MEEM is intentional. The documents, found hidden under a pile of chip bags, were discovered last Thursday, Dec. 1, 2022.
The discoverer, wanting to be identified as “Doctor D”, said that he found the pile of documents in the former home of architect Linn Smith in Birmingham, Michigan. Doctor D said the documents did not just include documents about the MEEM, but also “numerous other buildings in the tri-state area”.
The main document regarding the MEEM revealed the shocking truth behind the slight tilt the building has suffered. The documents reveal that by 2071, 100 years after the completion of the MEEM, the building will rotate by a full 180 degrees. “Over the past 50 years, the MEEM has tilted by a total of 3 degrees,” says Doctor D, “We expect it to speed up its rotation, with a full 45 degree tilt by 2035, and a 90 degree tilt by 2050.”
Administration has been informed of the tilt, and a plan to address the tilt was brought to attention in the December 6th Board meeting. Rumors say that the tilt will be mitigated during the campus expansion by 2035, while others say the Board accepts the fate of the MEEM and will try to safeguard the assets inside from any damage caused by the rotation.
We talked to some mechanical engineering students to see what their thoughts were on the future of the building. A 3rd year student remarked “As long as the elevator still works I couldn’t care less.” This was the underlying sentiment among the undergraduate students who used the building. The sentiment of the graduate students, however, was different. One graduate student commented “I have been saying this building needs a renovation,” and continued by saying “I hope that the department also changes direction.”
While the full implications of the tilt are being studied, classes in the MEEM are still to occur as scheduled.
