Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. Opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode values.
The Lewd used an A.I. to generate a schedule for the average Tech student. Here is what it gave us:
A Tech Student’s Daily Schedual
Monday
6 a.m. — Wake up
6 – 9 a.m. — Scroll Tik Tok
9 a.m. — Realizse I had a class at 8
9 – 9:15 a.m. — Panic
9:15 a.m. – 12 p.m. — Complain about homework
12 – 12:30 p.m. — Buy overpriced coffee at the library
12:30 – 2:20 p.m. — Go to class
2 p.m. – 4 p.m. — Regret choice of major
4 p.m. – 5 p.m. — Dinner
5 – 8 p.m. — Homework
8 p.m. – 12 a.m. — Cry
Tuesday
8 a.m. — Wake up
8 – 9 a.m. — Scroll the Tech Discord
9 – 11 a.m. — Go to class
11 a.m. – 12 p.m. — Complain about dorm food
12 – 12:30 p.m. — Lunch at Wads
12:30 – 2 p.m. — Go to office hours
2 p.m. – 4 p.m. — Regret life choices
4 p.m. – 5 p.m. — Dinner
5 – 8 p.m. — Homework
8 p.m. – 12 a.m. — Cry
Wednesday
6 a.m. — Wake up
6 – 7 a.m. — Scroll Reddit
8 – 9 a.m. — Go to class
9:15 a.m. – 12 p.m. — Complain about weather
12 – 12:30 p.m. — “Lunch” at the DT
12:30 – 2:20 p.m. — Go to class
2 p.m. – 4 p.m. — Regret choice of major
4 p.m. – 5 p.m. — Dinner
5 – 8 p.m. — Homework
8 p.m. – 12 a.m. — Cry
Thursday
8 a.m. — Wake up
8 – 9 a.m. — Scroll Tik Tok
9 – 11 a.m. — Go to class
11 a.m. – 12 p.m. — Complain about exams
12 – 12:30 p.m. — Lunch at the MUB
12:30 – 2 p.m. — Scream from the rooftop of the MEEM
2 p.m. – 4 p.m. — Regret choice of major
4 p.m. – 5 p.m. — Dinner
5 – 8 p.m. — Write paper
8 p.m. – 12 a.m. — Cry
Friday
6 a.m. — Wake up
6 – 7 a.m. — Scroll Canvas
7 – 8 a.m. — Breakfast
8 – 9 a.m. — Skip class
9:15 a.m. – 12 p.m. — Solve the mystery of the wind harp
12 – 12:30 p.m. — Lunch at the MUB
12:30 – 2:20 p.m. — Skip class
2 p.m. – 2 a.m — Drink
Saturday
11 a.m. — Wake up
11 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. — Regret previous night
11:30 – 12 — Test different hangover cures
12 – 1 p.m. — Try to stomach lunch
1 – 4 p.m. — Ski at Mont Ripley
4 – 5 p.m. — Dinner
5 p.m. – 1 a.m. — Drink
Sunday
10 a.m. — Wake up
10 – 10:15 a.m. — Regret last night, but slightly less this time
10:15 a.m. – 1 p.m. — Catch up on homework
1 – 2 p.m. — Lunch
2 – 4 p.m. — Watch Youtube
4 – 5 p.m. — Dinner
5 – 7 p.m — Panic about classes starting tomorrow
7 p.m. – 12 a.m. — Cry
