What type of bread are you based on your favorite Marvel character?



Yeah, I’ll take a slice of that wheat bread.

Linda Smith, Noobmaster69

Are you the stale butt of bread at the end of the bag or a mouthwatering toasted piece of cinnamon swirl? What does what type of bread you are say about you? Tell us your favorite Marvel character, and find out! 


If your favorite character is Iron Man


Then you are most definitely a regular old piece of white bread. You like the classics, and you might be a bit basic. You can’t go wrong with a slice of white bread, just like you can’t go wrong with Tony Stark. While you might not be everyone’s favorite go-to, you are reliable and a bit uninspiring.


If your favorite character is Black Widow


Then you are a delicious everything bagel with smooth cream cheese spread on top. In other words, you are cool. You’ve got great taste, and you are very likable. Just like everything bagels, you’ve got it all. You are probably the best person you know.


If your favorite character is Thor


You are a dinner roll. You are wholesome and possibly carry the traits of a himbo (regardless of gender identification). While you may have momentary lapses of arrogance, you still have redeemable qualities. 


If your favorite character is Captain America


Then you’ve got a fresh slice of wheat bread, but a really good slice of wheat bread. A bit plain, a bit ordinary, a bit of a basic choice, but healthy and hearty, fitting for Captain America. You either understand precisely what his character represents or have a completely different interpretation; this is essential in determining how fresh or stale you are. Nobody wants a stale piece of wheat bread.


If your favorite character is the Hulk…


You are a hedgehog roll. (I highly suggest looking this recipe up, it is pretty adorable.) You are most definitely a child because I have never met an adult whose favorite Marvel character is Bruce Banner unless you have recently switched ships because of Thor Ragnarok.


If your favorite character is Hawkeye…


Are you sure? That’s what people think when they hear someone likes sourdough bread, and that is what I think after finding out that you chose Clint Barton as your favorite MCU character. Questionable, at best. You are sourdough bread. No further explanation should be necessary. Maybe rewatch all of the Avengers movies, and check back. Just to be sure.


If your favorite character is Black Panther


You are a savory, fluffy, homemade biscuit with melted butter drizzled on top. The delicious bread that goes with everything and that is universally loved by everyone. Get ready to be the staple at any family get-together. You are versatile and respectful, just like King T’Challa himself. Overall, you are exquisite and quite the charmer. 


If your favorite character is Captain Marvel


You are most definitely cornbread. Yeah, you are a polarizing breed. People either really like you or do not like you at all. This is because you are simply just too dope for everyone around you, and they simply don’t get you. Just like lots of people don’t get Captain Marvel. Sad truth, but you can live in peace knowing you are above everybody else. 


If your favorite character is Dr. Strange


You are a pretentious baguette. He is a good character, but I have only ever met people who claim him as their favorite and also think way too highly of themselves. Kind of like Stephen Strange’s character at the beginning of his movie. However, I have to admit, you are probably justified with this attitude. A baguette is perfect for you.


If your favorite character is Wanda Maximoff


You are a *moist* (TW for millennials) and comforting banana bread. The kind of banana bread made on a rainy day. The kind of banana bread that fills the air with a lovely sweet aroma. The kind of banana bread that feels like a warm hug. Safe to say that you are the mom friend, and your friends all think very highly of you. Give yourself a pat on the back.


If you didn’t see your favorite MCU character on this list, then that means I ran out of bread descriptions. Surprisingly, describing bread is not the most enthralling experience. Who is your favorite MCU character, and what type of bread are you? Let us know down below! 



The Lewd is a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. It’s meant to help editors, writers, and photographers have fun and relieve stress. Opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode values.