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Don’t get me wrong, I love my housemates! They are all wonderful, incredible human beings. They are smart, funny, kind, and they are great people to share a house with. But … sometimes, I truly wonder why I live with them. Not in a bad way — not when they don’t do their dishes, or when they yell while playing video games at 3 a.m. — those things don’t actually bother me. Sometimes, they just do weird things, and I truly wonder, “Why do I live with these people?” Interested in a day-in-the-life of me and my wonderfully strange housemates? Keep reading.
Sarah is awesome. She’s creative, she’s smart, and she is literally the glue that holds our house together. She is the mom-friend. She’s cool and trendy (she has purple hair and a nose ring, that’s all you need to know) and she’s a ton of fun. But sometimes, Sarah can be a bit extreme. Not in a bad way — she’s not doing death-defying stunts or anything, she just gets angry when our other housemate, Tyler, doesn’t eat his vegetables. Tyler is 21, he can feed himself, right? Wrong. Tyler doesn’t like vegetables. It gets so bad that we once had to pay him to eat a piece of lettuce. He threatens to vomit if we try and get him to eat a green bean. Sarah gets upset about this, because as the mom friend, she just wants to look out for him. She wants him to be healthy. One time, she got so worked up that she decided to pull a prank on Tyler, and dumped a box of Cheez-It crumbs in his bed. Yes, in his bed. It was funny, yes, but also extreme. It also made me think, “Who even is this person? And why do I live with her?”
Nik, like his girlfriend Sarah, is also awesome. He’s smart, fun to be around, and can always be relied on as a comic relief. He makes lots of jokes, even if they don’t always make sense. He’s obsessed with coffee and is very good at video games that I don’t even pretend to understand. Seems like a normal dude, right? Wrong. Nik is, with peace and love, one of the strangest people I have ever met. He just does little things that are absolutely weird yet hilarious at the same time. He poses the most ridiculous dinnertime discussion questions (“If you had to be murdered, how would you want to be murdered?”) and sprays himself in the face with the cat water spray bottle (which we have because our cat is a jerk). He sings the alphabet loudly in the shower and somehow can make almost every Minecraft sound effect known to humanity. He also swears that an imaginary drink by the name of modka (milk + vodka) would be appetizing. I don’t have a specific example for Nik, because I just can’t recall one specific event that makes me question why I live with him. The truth is, I question why I live with him every day.
Ahh yes, Sophie. Dear, dear Sophie. A great student, a phenomenal friend, and all around a joy to be around. She can always make us laugh (even when she’s not trying) and knows how to be the life of any party. We have a ton of shared interests (mainly Harry Styles and Pride and Prejudice) and I enjoy bonding over those. However … Sophie is a strange soul. We have a digital quote book that we keep between us friends, and Sophie has the longest list. So, instead of describing a strange Sophie scenario, I’m going to take you through some of my favorite Sophie quotes. One time we were in Marquette, at Jilbert Dairy getting ice cream, and Sophie spotted a container of sour cream. This, for some reason, was incredibly perplexing to her. She couldn’t figure out why cream would be sour. “Sour cream?” she said, her eyebrows furrowed. “Oh. Sour cream!” Sophie also gets frustrated with men sometimes — I don’t blame her, who doesn’t? But one time she so eloquently said, “All the men you ever know are men.” You know, Sophie? You’re right! How philosophical. Sophie also loves horses, and I think she sometimes wishes to be one. She one time said, “Juicy grass,” as if it would be the most enjoyable food ever. There are more that are probably not Lode appropriate, so I won’t share them. Just use your imagination. These quotes and more have me questioning why we allow Sophie to live here. Oh and also, she turns 21 on Saturday, so if you see her, make sure to wish her a happy birthday.
Aidan is the youngest of the bunch. He sleeps in the tiniest bedroom upstairs and never complains about it. He does all his chores, he does his homework, and he drives a Jeep. (Yes, driving a Jeep is a personality trait, especially when you’re Aidan). He keeps us laughing and knows how to have a good time. But, Aidan has a strange obsession. No, not with his Jeep (that’s a whole different story). Instead, his obsession is But with monkeys. Yes, monkeys. The animal. He’s obsessed. Any time monkeys are brought up in conversation (which shouldn’t be that many times, but with Aidan, it’s pretty much daily) a new level is unlocked in Aidan’s brain. He makes monkey noises. He talks about all the different monkey types (his favorite of which is the golden monkey, apparently.) The worst part is, however, Monkey Mode. Yes, Monkey Mode. Aidan has an Amazon Alexa, and for Christmas, Nik (see above) bought him a monkey-shaped Alexa holder (similar to this one). Aidan lost it, and ascended to a new level of monkeyness. Thus, Monkey Mode was formed. Using his Alexa, he set up a new mode in his room. The lights turn red and monkey noises start coming from his Alexa. It’s this crazy behavior that makes me question why we let him live here.
Tyler. Yes, the one that wouldn’t eat his vegetables. Besides this, Tyler is pretty fun. He likes to play video games and hide away in his room all day, but he cracks some good jokes and is fun to be around. I would say that the weird thing about Tyler is that he’s 21 years old and he refuses to eat any vegetables but carrots, but to be honest, that’s not so strange. His diet mostly consists of macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles, though not in the way that you would think. Even though we have a hot water kettle downstairs that boils water with the push of a button, Tyler does not use it. Do you know how he enjoys his ramen noodles? In the most psychotic method ever. DRY. Yes, Tyler eats DRY RAMEN. I discovered this by accident one day when I knocked on his door, trying to pawn off leftover food that for some reason we had to get rid of, and no one else wanted to eat. When he opened the door, he was standing there with a dry block of ramen in his hands. No seasoning, no water, just noodle. Hard, crusty ramen noodle. I was so incredibly perplexed, I didn’t really know what to say. Tyler does a lot of weird stuff, but that took the cake.
Casper is our beloved cat. He’s the cutest little dude, and when he’s sleepy and cuddly, he’s an angel. However, most of the time Casper is not an angel. I could use today as an example alone of how much of a jerk he can be. Earlier this evening, as I was working on other Lode stuff, I had a drink and a plate sitting by my laptop. Casper jumped up on my desk and I turned around for a second. When I looked back, he was standing over my drink and licking the can! That was the start of an evening of terror. I took the can and immediately went to wash it off. When I returned, Casper was seated on my laptop. He had pushed random buttons in doing so, and my computer screen was magnified to 200%. I didn’t even know how to fix it, and one of my housemates had to do it for me. Then, while he was seated on my laptop, he decided to help myself to the plate of food I had next to my computer. So, that was no longer edible either. Later in the evening, I heard a loud meow outside of my door. This is nothing new, as Casper meows all the time. I opened the door, expecting that he wanted to be let in. Well, I was wrong. The little rat ding dong ditched me! As soon as I opened the door, he took off, running down the hallway in a full sprint. We are never short on entertainment with Casper, that’s for sure.
I mean this all with peace and love of course, and I wouldn’t trade any of my housemates for the world. Despite our oddities, we’re a cohesive bunch, and for a household of six (plus Casper, seven) we make things work rather well!