Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, an annual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published around finals week. The article is purely for comedic purposes, and the opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode’s values.
In a shocking turn of events, the MUB has been turned into a bouncy castle. Although there are some benefits, the layout has drastically improved.
Per an interview with The Lewd, Danielle Meirow, Director of Student Leadership and Involvement, has stated she now feels much safer. With clear lines of sight throughout the building, she no longer feels like someone is watching her just around the corner.
The random tile types and confounding color choices are now standardized and much kinder on the eyes. Due to the limitations of being inflatable, the stairs are much better on the knees and the odd half cases have been removed. Due to being an engineering school, they have somehow managed to keep the elevators working.
The MUB ballroom has become a much more popular spot due to being much more fun to dance and bounce in. While tab dancing has unfortunately been ruled out, polka, Viennese waltz, and the FFA cotton eye joe have exploded in popularity. While it is advised to use them in moderation, as sprang ankles are always a danger, people have been doing them a whole lot otherwise.
The overwhelming feeling of flight or fight experienced by most students has faded somewhat; the Psychology department has gone on record to say it is lingering trauma caused by the confounding layout and random sharp corners.
This new change may be the first positive thing the university has done in the past two decades.
