Student Newspaper at Michigan Tech University since 1921

Published Weekly on Tuesdays Office Located in Walker 105

All Hail King Yeezy

Brothers, sisters, siblings. Rejoice with me, for we have witnessed the birth of a glorious new era. With this previous election, the tides have turned. Our time under Supreme Leader Kanye Yeezus Christ will usher in a period of peace and prosperity the likes of which have never been seen before. This can already be seen in the easy and enthusiastic ways in which our current President quickly began the process of transferring power to the future government. 

The heralds prophesied in the christian bible were not angels as expected but rather came in the form of small, blue birds, chirping the tweets of the lord in 127 characters or less

The next four years will bring about an unprecedented level of change within our country. Be not afraid, my friends. These changes will be for the better. Research has been done showing that in previous centuries, those struggling with mental health issues were seen as conduits of the gods. Did Odysseus not speak to a being only he could see who led him time and time again to glory? Why now do we label such communion as “schizophrenia,” medicating against this higher knowledge? Our most excellent and dear future Commander in Chief knows of the folly of such practices and has opened his mind to the higher powers of the universe. 

We too must now broaden our horizons, in order to keep up with these dynamic times. While this may be a jarring experience for many of those too close-minded or sheltered to handle the true nature of our complex universe, it will undoubtedly be for the better of our society as a whole. You will see. You will learn. Namaste, comrades. 

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