Would you eat 13 Big Macs in one day? How about 220 sugar packets?
Now you might find yourself saying, “That’s horrendous. Who on earth would do that do themselves?”
And I would answer, “The average American on Halloween.”
At which point you might say, “Rand, I’ve seen my fair share of Halloweens and I’ve never seen a single person down 220 sugar packets. That wouldn’t even taste good.”
To which I would respond, “No, it’s a comparison designed to illustrate just how much candy we actually eat on Halloween and how gross it is. Didn’t you read the title?”
Got it?
The average American eats about three-and-a-half pounds of candy over the course of Halloween, which is as much sugar as 220 sugar packets or as many calories as 13 Big Macs.
In order to walk off that much candy trick-or-treating, you’d have to walk 180 miles, which is the distance from New York city to Boston. That would take the average walker 60 hours, and that’s assuming the old lady down the street doesn’t keep you there for five minutes commenting on how cute your costume is.
Cheating a little bit on Halloweeen is fine. It would be against the spirit of the holiday not to, honestly. But three-and-a-half pounds? That’s pushing it.
Besides, can you really enjoy that much candy all at once? Candy has the admirable property of not going bad very quickly, which means you can spread out your Halloween binge over as long a period as you’d like.
I’ve noticed that my Halloween candy consumption experiences exponential decay. I eat all the good stuff, i.e. Snickers, York patties and other chocolates on Halloween night and the day or two afterward. My consumption rapidly declines as I burn through the second-rate candy like smarties and suckers. Then I’m just left with a Dots, Whoppers and Heath bars.
That bag can last me the rest of the year. Blech.
Anyway, the point is try to keep your health in mind this Halloween. I’m trying not to moralize too hard because I am going to have way too many Reese’s peanut butter cups this Monday.
But maybe we can use the guilt to fuel post-Halloween workout sessions?
