The UnLODEing Zone

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A place for the editors to unload. 

I’m going to be honest, conspiracy theories can be such fun to participate in. When I say conspiracy theory I don’t mean typical theories like all presidents are lizard people or this celebrity actually died ten years ago but they were replaced to cover it up. I mean the theories you make up on the spot after two people have the same experience right after each other.

I was in my chemistry lab this week when my TA, lab partner, and I started talking about birthdays. My TA had figured out a way to determine which day of the week any date was of any year (he had a very long and lonely car drive home for break). My lab partner and I started asking him to figure out our birthdays.

This lead to the conclusion that all people are born on a Thursday. We then went around the lab figuring out how many people were born on a Thursday versus any other day of the week. The results were leaning heavily towards Thursday for everyone. So, we came to the only logical conclusion: all people are born on a Thursday and anyone who claims differently had their records changed by the government in order to keep the general public from finding out. I brought this up when I came into work. All four people in the office, including me, were born on a Thursday.

Another theory I love is everything is at least three. This is less of a theory and more of a principle to live by, but it still stands as a statement that is more truthful than it has any right to be. Whenever someone asks for an amount, my friends and I will answer “at least three.” This means any math problem, time of day, the color of an object, etc. Every question can be answered with “at least three.” Usually, people at least consider the answer before remembering they were asking about the weather.