Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. The article is purely for comedic purposes, and the opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode’s values.
After 12 days of working, Blizzard T. Husky has been fired from their new job at Dairy Queen, forcing their return to continue working as Michigan Tech’s mascot.
Although Blizzard did an excellent job whipping up delicious ice cream cones, the manager of the establishment remarked that the employee was let go due to their poor customer service abilities. Many customers of the establishment complained that the employee would just sit in silence and stare at them. One customer even said that the employee didn’t blink once while they were ordering, causing an overwhelming sense of uneasiness.
Michigan Tech reluctantly returned Blizzard’s original position after what sources stated to be a lot of pleading and begging. Although there was hesitation on the administration’s side to return the job to Blizzard, the student body remarks that they are excited to see the return of their mascot.
