Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. Opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode values.
In a strange move (that isn’t actually too strange when you recall their track record) from the University Senate, Michigan Tech’s Spring Break for 2025 has been moved up to the first week of the spring semester. The proposal to move MTU’s spring break up even further than it already is was brought to the floor by an unidentifiable shadowy figure in a cloak who remained anonymous, and only spoke to say, “Husky Up!” while holding up his hand to make a Husky-dog salute.
The proposal was unanimously approved by the senate despite the outcries of hundreds of students who will now only have the opportunity to get completely slammed during the few short days of Winter Carnival recess. Students who had been camping out overnight to protest the decision were told that while their concerns were heard, they were much too late in voicing them. It is now unfortunately completely and totally impossible for the senate to do anything about it, so they will just have to suck it up and deal with it.
