Clay Hilman pulled his goggles securely over his eyes. With the precision of a craftsman, he slowly poured the green fluid into a tiny flask, and, once confident in the measurement, dumped the contents of the flask into a plastic cup. He spritzed a blast of seltzer water over the top and secured a transparent cover.
“What are the goggles for?” I asked. “Is it dangerous to make a Bubbler?”
“No, they’re not for safety,” he replied. “They allow you to see colors that you can’t see with the naked eye. Would you like clouds on top of your Eye of Newt Bubbler? We take them out of the sky, condense them, and then release them over the top. I can also add a shot of unicorn milk.”
I opted for both additions and eagerly awaited the next step in the process. Hilman did not disappoint. He showed me a group of straws and told me to pick my favorite one. I grabbed one from the center.
“Okay, those are one-way straws. I’ll tell you how to use them. You put it into your Bubbler and you blow into it to mix it. Then, you can flip the straw over to drink it.”
An ingenious invention, I thought. One of the best I’d ever encountered.
Hilman, along with his wife and another couple, runs the business owned by K. C. Bonker, the incredible adventurer, businessman and toy connoisseur. Although K. C. Bonker is rarely seen, he is famous for his travels on his flying machine, known as the Punky Steamer, his fashionable sense of dress and his friendships with Willy Wonka and Santa Claus. K. C. Bonker also ran for president in 2016 with the sponsorship of the Birthday Party, but ultimately lost the race to another businessman.
“Santa actually shops here,” Hilman said. “So, if you get a gift from Santa that says K. C. Bonker’s on it, that’s why.”
- C. Bonker’s, located in downtown Hancock, offers a wide selection of toys on one side of the shop while producing cafe drinks of the highest quality on the other. K. C. Bonker’s is also a regular venue for live music and art events. It has a little something for everyone.
“We attract all ages. K. C. Bonker’s is beyond any age. We’re not just marketing to kids,” Hilman said.
The toys sold in K. C. Bonker’s are unique in their simplicity. Many of the toys are relics of nostalgia that have been enrapturing children for decades.
“In K. C. Bonker’s view, the toys we sell should be toys you play with, not toys that play with you. Toys that play with you are like Furbies. You push a little button and they talk to you. The toys do all the playing and you’re just entertained. Toys that you play with are toys like a stick. It can be a boat, or a sword, or a bow, a walking stick, or anything you want,” Hilman said.
Unfortunately, K. C. Bonker could not be reached for comment as the Punky Steamer is currently crossing through Neverland. (I’ve heard the cell reception there is totally bonkers. No pun intended. Just kidding. It was intended.)
If you’d like an update as to the whereabouts and adventures of K. C. Bonker, please visit K. C. Bonker’s on Facebook, or visit K. C. Bonker’s in downtown Hancock.
