Student Newspaper at Michigan Tech University since 1921

Published Weekly on Tuesdays Office Located in Walker 105

Lewd special satirical article: Upcoming Events, December 1st, 2024

 

Monday, December 2nd

08:00-10:00 | Weekly Group Breakfast (Beverage: Muddy Puddle Water)

          (Meal: A Mound of Wood Chips)

 

12:00-15:00 | The Big Race (Students get to race the beaver that they’ve raised throughout fall camp)

 

Tuesday, December 3nd

11:00-14:00 | Arson Workshop (Learn to set fires from our resident expert)

 

11:00-15:00 | Hunting Wabbits (idk you read the title)

 

18:00-20:00 | Eat Your Fiber

 

21:00-23:00 | [PANK] Magazine Storytime (Bedtime stories from the U.P. Poet Laureate)

 

Wednesday, December 4th

08:00-08:01 | Early-Bird Midweek Breakfast (Be quick, we don’t tolerate slowpokes)

 

09:00-10:00 | Lake Plumbago Baths (Occurs Triweekly)

 

14:00-15:00 | Self Defense (Strategic methods to fight fire)

 

16:00-17:00 | Tick Check (Dr. Squatch checks to make sure everyone has ticks)

 

17:00-18:00 | Tick Czech (užívat si kulturních důsledků)

 

Thursday, December 5th
08:00-22:30 | Environmental Religious Praise (watch the Lorax 10 times (they love it everytime))

 

Friday, December 6th

13:00-14:00 | Fish Friday (Every student goes fishing for their dinner)

 

23:00-28:00 | Various Extraterrestrial Contact (Ask them why they entered Earth without proper documentation)

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