In collaboration with The Bull
In what critics are calling either a bold academic innovation or an elaborate prank, Michigan Tech announced its new Avian Engineering program, set to launch in Fall 2025. The program, which teaches students how to design and maintain “avian-inspired aerial systems”—or, as insiders admit, “robotic spy pigeons”—is already causing a stir on campus.
The coursework includes eyebrow-raising classes such as Advanced Beak Mechanics, Feather Propulsion Dynamics, and Stealth Surveillance in the Avian Age. A cornerstone of the program is the capstone project, where seniors will engineer their own “bird species,” complete with programmable squawks and customizable flight paths. The technology will go towards efforts to increase university surveillance and enforce security measures to aid Public Safety.
Some students, however, are less enthusiastic. “What do they mean birds aren’t real?” asked first-year engineering student Bryce Hammond. “I’ve been living a lie. I used to feed the pigeons every Sunday with my pops, but little did I know those pigeons were feeding me lies.”
Meanwhile, conspiracy theories are flourishing. A group calling themselves “Feathered Truth Seekers” has begun protesting outside the library, armed with signs reading “Big Bird = Big Brother.” Yet, despite the controversy, MTU is optimistic about the program’s future. A university spokesperson teased potential research grants from the government, sparking further paranoia among skeptics. Whether Avian Engineering is a flight of fancy or a soaring success remains to be seen.
Along with the marvelous new major option, MTU has also announced some jobs available to students in the wake of bird feeders being installed on all campus properties. The jobs available include bird feeder filler, bird watcher, bird bath technician, and parking attendant (for pigeons). Each job will start at $15 an hour, with opportunities for advancement depending on good behavior, as witnessed by the birds.
