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Lewd special satirical article: Which Michigan Tech degree program are you, based on which GoT characters you choose

Since Game of Thrones last left our screen around two years ago, many fans have been left wanting more. Well, fear not, my fellow Thronies, as I have created additional content that will fill the gaping hole left in your heart after the terrible, botched redemption arc of Jaime Lannister we were subjected to in Season Eight. Specially curated for Michigan Tech students, this quiz will tell you which degree program you should be in (there’s still time to transfer, unless you’re graduating this spring — then you’re screwed) based on the Game of Thrones character you select.

To take this quiz, write down the letter that corresponds to each of your choices. Afterwards, tally them up and figure out which major you are!

 

First, pick a member of House Stark. I know it’s hard to pick just one, but you have to! (PS, I will personally judge you if you select Jon.)

  1. Sansa Stark
  2. Ned Stark
  3. Robb Stark
  4. Bran Stark
  5. Jon Snow

 

I know they’re the worst, but now it’s time to select a Lannister. (Still pressed about how the writers ruined Jaime’s redemption arc but it’s fine.)

  1. Tyrion Lannister
  2. Tywin Lannister
  3. Jaime Lannister
  4. Cersei Lannister
  5. Joffrey Baratheon (he’s technically 100% a Lannister)

 

Now it’s time to pick a beloved GoT heroine. Choose wisely. 

  1. Arya Stark
  2. Brienne of Tarth
  3. Margaery Tyrell
  4. Ygritte 
  5. Daenerys Targaryen

 

Pick a Stark direwolf! Quick!

  1. Grey Wolf
  2. Ghost
  3. Nymeria
  4. Lady
  5. Shaggydog

 

Game of Thrones would be nowhere without its sidekicks. Choose one.

  1. The Hound
  2. Sam Tarly
  3. Bronn
  4. Podrick Payne
  5. Jorah Mormont

 

We were lucky enough to see a plethora of celebrity cameos throughout GoT’s 8 seasons. Which was your favorite?

  1. Rob McElhenney and Martin Starr (comedians)
  2. Noah Syndergaard (MLB player)
  3. Aaron Rodgers (NFL quarterback)
  4.  Chris Stapleton (country singer)
  5. Ed Sheeran (pop singer)

 

Finally, though this isn’t a person, pick a castle, because the scenery in this show is as spectacular as its characters.

  1. The Red Keep
  2. Casterly Rock
  3. Winterfell
  4. Eyrie
  5. Dragonstone

 

Time for the results!

 

If you picked mostly As: Michigan Tech actually has a bangin’ humanities department in terms of its professors, and yet it seems like no one knows. Well, congrats. You’re a history major. Before you say, “Why in the hell would someone come to MTU for a history degree?” I ask you, why the hell not? What does it matter to you?

 

If you picked mostly Bs: Do you recycle? You better, because you’re switching your major to Sustainable Byproducts. Pretty sure this is new and I don’t actually know what they do, but it sounds hella cool and I’m glad someone cares about the environment, because it sure as hell seems like some of our administration doesn’t. 

 

If you picked mostly Cs: Congratulations! You’re the best major on Michigan Tech’s campus! Welcome to the world of Medical Laboratory Science! Never heard of it? They’re like doctors, but cooler and more undervalued, especially on MTU’s campus! They get to play with bacteria and look at parasites under microscopes. Plus, no one even knows about this major on campus, so it’s kind of like you’re part of an exclusive club. You’re welcome. 

 

If you picked mostly Ds: Hey, you’re a forestry major! I bet you like trees, don’t you? I bet you’d be best buds with Bigfoot. I just know you know the best places to hike, and I bet you LOVE telling people about it. I feel like Tech drastically undervalues their forestry program. I, for one, think it’s very cool that y’all get to learn about plants. 

 

If you picked mostly Es: Just like these characters are arguably the most power hungry, your new degree is arguably the most powerful (or populous) on campus: Mechanical Engineering. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting a degree in Mechanical Engineering, I’ve just had more than a few MEs rub me the wrong way during my years on campus. No one cares about your MEP homework, stop complaining about it.

 

The Lewd is a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. It’s meant to help editors, writers, and photographers have fun and relieve stress. Opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode values.

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