Disclaimer: This article is a part of The Lewd, a biannual satirical project put together by The Lode staff, typically published the week before finals. The article is purely for comedic purposes, and the opinions presented in these articles do not reflect The Lode’s values.
This semester, the 2025 Registered Student Organizations (RSO) budget was released by the Undergraduate Student Government (USG) with a significant error. The satirical student newspaper The Daily Bull was accidentally awarded $500,000 instead of the requested $500. USG reached out to rectify the mistake but has been unsuccessful in getting the money returned.
Daily Bull staff are more than excited. They plan to expand their newspaper’s reach to the entire Upper Peninsula and hire at least 20 salaried writers. The Editor-in-Chief for the paper, Sam Smith, said, “No one on campus believed in us. We finally have the opportunity to spread our message far and wide.” When asked for what the Bull’s message was, Smith declined to comment.
Representatives from USG sent Smith over ten emails, informing the staff of the mistake. However, the USG Constitution prevents it from revoking funding after it has been awarded. USG has declined to comment at this time.
